Grief Happens in Different Ways: How Do We Cope and Heal?
Grief does not adhere to a specific timeline and affects everyone differently. For many, it feels like a tide that pulls us under, unexpected, bewildering, and all-encompassing. Grief can surface after the death of a loved one or pet, the end of a relationship, a miscarriage, health struggles, or even the loss of a hoped-for future. At times, it manifests as tears, while at others, it may present as irritability, fatigue, anxiety, numbness, or a feeling of merely "going through the motions.” There is no right or wrong way to experience grief, and that is perfectly okay. What truly matters is having the appropriate support and resources to help navigate it.
What Does Healthy Coping Look Like?
Healing doesn’t mean “getting over it.” It means learning how to carry grief with more ease and less pain. Here are some healthy ways to cope:
Acknowledge your emotions without judgment: Grief arrives in waves. Allow yourself to cry, take a break, feel anger, or experience emptiness. All feelings are legitimate.
Seek connection: Isolation intensifies grief. Sharing your feelings with trustworthy individuals, such as therapists, friends, or support groups, can provide solace.
Embrace routine and rest: Grief may render even simple tasks difficult. Establishing daily habits and ensuring your body gets adequate rest are crucial parts of the healing journey.
Foster avenues for expression: Whether through journaling, movement, art, or music, finding ways to express what’s hard to articulate can be beneficial.
Cultivate self-compassion: Remind yourself regularly. There’s no set way to grieve. Your journey is unique.
I frequently incorporate therapeutic methods that nourish not only your mind but also your body and nervous system. Here’s how these methods can be beneficial:
Somatic Work: Reconnecting with the Body
Somatic Work:
Reacquainting with the Body.
Grief is not merely a cognitive experience; it resides in your physical being.
You might experience sensations like tightness in your chest, heaviness in your limbs, a feeling of numbness, or persistent tension.
This occurs because grief is processed in the nervous system.
Somatic therapy helps you to softly reconnect with your physical self, let go of built-up tension, and find a sense of safety within yourself.
Essential somatic tools encompass:
Regulation informed by polyvagal theory to soothe your nervous system
Breathwork and grounding techniques to alleviate feelings of being overwhelmed
Mindful body awareness to restore your internal sense of safety
EMDR: Healing Grief with the Brain and Body
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy supported by evidence that was originally developed for trauma, but it is also highly effective for managing grief, particularly in cases of sudden, complicated, or traumatic loss.
EMDR helps your brain to process distressing memories, diminishing their emotional weight. Rather than eliminating grief, it facilitates a gentler integration of it. When collaborating with a qualified EMDR therapist, you will receive support in finding relief and reestablishing a connection with your body.
Clients frequently report experiencing relief from:
Recurring flashbacks or troubling imagery
Strong emotional responses triggered by certain reminders
Persistent feelings of guilt, shame, or “what if” questions
A sense of being stuck and unable to progress
Soothing EMDR Tools:
Bilateral tapping: Gently tap your knees or shoulders left-right to soothe.
Visualized safe place: Create a calming mental image to return to when overwhelmed.
Helpful Self-Care Tools:
4-7-8 breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8—this is a straightforward way to find calm.
Body scan: Observe sensations from head to toe—focus on awareness without trying to fix anything.
Self-touch: Rest one hand on your heart and the other on your belly; breathe deeply and reassure yourself.
Warm Epsom salt bath: Soak to relax tense muscles and uplift your spirit.
Herbal tea ritual: Enjoy a gentle, warming tea as you take a moment to check in with your emotions.
Mindful walks: Concentrate on each step, breathe in deeply, and observe your surroundings.
Music: Create a playlist that makes you feel good.
Sleep hygiene: Establishing a peaceful environment with soft candlelight, using an essential oil diffuser, and engaging in reading can significantly enhance the quality of your sleep.
Grief Looks Different for Every Woman
Whether you’re grieving a person, a relationship, your health, or a chapter of your life, you deserve support that meets you where you are.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Healing is slow, messy, beautiful, and entirely possible.
Ready to begin? Reach out to schedule a consultation today at 404-465-3912 or Kellie@emdr4women.com